


Poems

by Piper_Potato



Category: Free Write - Fandom, No Fandom
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-30
Updated: 2019-03-28
Packaged: 2019-04-14 12:38:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 5,389
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14136207
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Piper_Potato/pseuds/Piper_Potato
Summary: Poems I've written cause why not.  I can't think of anything else to post and I write these regularly





	1. My Town

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is about my Town. I wrote it last summer at the Blue Lake Arts Camp. Hope you like it.

From Cigars to Vapes  
Kids and Capes  
I am from the town an hour away  
We tell our kids  
‘Don’t do drugs’  
As there are kids smoking an overdosing  
‘Kidnapping is bad’  
There goes another kid  
Sent away from his dad  
I am from what some call mixed  
This all might be just for kicks  
Smacking and attacking  
Real family helps  
For all, we’ve dealt  
With what we’ve felt  
From Central America to Africa  
From  
‘You can’t do it’  
To  
‘Just do it’  
But some of us want to end it  
Some of us want to add more to it  
We erase ourselves from our books  
Give away stuff from our nooks  
Some go away  
Some of us stay  
We are aware  
We dare to stare  
To figure out  
What they were hiding  
So they can be shining  
Even after death  
I am from a phobic family  
Homophobia  
Its pure mania  
Some think it a disease  
We hide to please  
Some of us leave  
But when we please  
We hurt ourselves  
We deceive ourselves  
We’re like dolls up on shelves  
We’re made up composed of makeup  
I am from the Society  
That tells us  
‘ be a variety’  
But then say  
‘You can’t be that’  
So we wander blind as bats  
Bad as rats  
Thrown into the sewer  
Every day there are fewer  
Time is ticking quicker and quicker  
There it goes again  
There goes another kid  
Shots were blown straight through his head  
We’ll all be dead  
Suicide or Genocide  
From seeing things on the blind side  
To not seeing things through

We should stick like glue

They ain't got no clue

Of what we do

We're all clowns

But

This is My Town


	2. Ana Problems

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is about anorexia. I would recommend not reading it if you are struggling as well as getting help. We would hate to see you go like that. You're so amazing and perfect. So unique and beautiful. Don't let yourself go out like that.

Hey  
I’m sorry  
For Your Worry  
I was a trifle  
I was a small problem  
My weight wasn’t small to me though  
I was as big as the number on the scale would say.  
135.5 might not be big  
But I am overweight  
I have a Government cite telling me this  
I have Them telling me  
I have others telling me  
People say I look good  
If they really say me they would be horrified  
I am fat  
Chubby  
Overweight  
Pudgy  
However, you wanna call me  
People have said to my face  
Lay off the pudding, Geez.  
Wow, you’re fat!  
How much do you weight even?  
The last one may be taken  
As a compliment from someone else  
To me it is hell  
I hate people talking about weight  
My friends say they’re fat  
Some of them are fat but it’s a healthy fat  
For me  
It’s not  
People try and make me feel better  
Guys like a girl with a little chub  
Keyword  
Little  
I am nothing but the opposite  
Fat  
Not a good kind  
Not a beautiful kind  
I am never beautiful  
I am never cute  
My problems are trifles  
To you  
To me.  
They mean a lot  
Almost too much  
But  
Words are words  
The Words  
Cut deeper than my glass  
So out it comes  
Rushing out my mouth


	3. the Dying One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one I wrote in like wut 5th grade. Pretty bad. But meh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This had to do with death and all that. Pretty sad. I like it tho. So enjoy ig.

Luv Dov  
Luv Dov  
She Could Hear Her Heart Beating  
Quickly She Thrusts It Into Herself  
AAAHHHHH!!!!!!!  
She Screamed Out In Agony  
She Could Feel The Sticky Blood Running Down Her Chest   
Staining Her Dress  
As She Slowly Pulled The Dagger Out Of Herself  
Suddenly There Was A Banging On The Door  
BANG!  
BANG!  
BOOM!  
Went The Door As It Opened  
The Boy At The Door Looked In Horror At The Girl   
Th Dying GirlWith A Puddle Of Blood Around Her  
He Dashed Out To Her  
Hot Tears Streaming Down His Face  
The Girl Slowly Grabs For The Dagger Knowing   
Just Knowing That It Will Go Faster if She Does It Again  
He Wants To Die  
He wants To Scream  
He Wants To Break Down  
Slowly  
Slowly  
Slowly She Slips Away From Him And All Life  
Dying  
Dying  
Dead  
Gone From All Life   
Gone From Her Bodily Form  
Floating Away From The Earth  
Gone  
Forever  
He Cries  
He Grieves  
Nothing He Does Will Ever Bring The Girl Back Into His Life  
The Boy Feels Lonely   
The Boy Feels Dejected  
The Boy Is Lost Without Her  
As The Boy Grows Up He Never Loved Again  
Nor Did He Smile  
Or Smile  
He Hid Himself and his face away from the world  
Longing for her to come back into his life  
He grows old in age longing for her  
Only her  
The only girl he loved in his life  
A boy is a man now  
He Still Locks Himself In His room  
He will always have a hole in his heart acheing for her

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading and maybe caring to read to the end. Happy day/night/midday/midnight/where ever the fuck you may be :D


	4. Hatta's Party Stains

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Most of my Poems are about death and they're depressing. Sorry about that...I do hope you enjoy though. I wrote this for a poetry slam in like 7th grade maybe so yeah.

Imma tea stain  
The world was supposed to be a tablecloth  
And We  
Are the Hatters  
Enjoying Hatter’s Unbirthday  
Tea  
Milk  
Sugar  
Cookies  
But  
There are stains  
Stains that mess up  
Everything  
We don’t know what we’re doing  
Not anymore  
We’re a Problem  
We’re the Problem  
This is Earth  
That Life  
That We fill with  
With Suicide  
Death  
Troubles  
and pain  
They don't know  
How to get us off  
So we  
We Drink Bleach  
Getting rid of ourselves  
Erasing ourselves from our lives  
Lives we used to live  
No more we must be

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Have a good life on whatever day you're on! :3
> 
> Also Sorry it was so short. I can try to make them longer. :| :/


	5. Love Story From Afar

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this about someone not sure if they know who they are but yeah. They're so special to me and I love them so much. I can't wait to see them again but yeah. I love them and I won't forget them. <3

I'm dead  
Dead inside  
Dead outside  
Soulless  
Loveless  
No one can change it  
Only He can  
That boy  
That perfect boy  
That handsome boy  
The boy I love  
With a fiery passion  
Burning me up  
Warming my heart  
Thawing it  
Turning into a river  
River of love  
That cannot dry out  
Cannot run out  
He is my one  
My only  
From now  
Until forever  
He is mine  
Mine alone  
None shall take him  
For those who try  
Die of heartbreak  
When we die  
Our love will  
Not Cease  
Will not be denied  
But it will be carried with us  
Into the next world  
For this love that we share  
Will be eternal  
If we do die  
Our love will flourish  
And grow into something beautiful


	6. You Don't Know

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is Pretty sad so yeah. Enjoy. ~U~

You know it’s funny  
When teachers say  
You’re fine,   
You can do work  
But really   
You can’t do the work  
Cause you’re too broken to even start  
Cause they have no clue   
No clue what people call you  
No clue what people do to you  
No clue how they hurt you  
They don’t know  
Know what it’s like be abused  
They would have no clue what to do  
Cause they don’t  
Know what it’s like to be raped  
They have no clue  
What to do   
No clue about you  
Not about your life  
Not about how stable you are  
No clue you’re heading off the edge  
You’re trouble  
You’re pain  
You’re death  
You’re on the run  
Running from your life  
Running for your life  
In hope of something new  
Something good  
Maybe someone for you to love  
To cherish  
But do you ever find it  
That happy place  
That happy person  
That person that will make your life brighter  
That thing that may save you  
How far will you have to run   
Run to find something that isn’t there  
You’re stuck here  
Never to leave  
No escape  
No new life  
Just bashing after bashing  
But the teachers don’t know  
They still think you can do the work  
Even with your swollen eye  
You’re soulless chest  
Heart rattling  
Heart grown small   
Small from no love  
No sympathy  
No empathy  
No grace  
No mercy  
What are we   
Supposed to do  
How do we survive in this world  
This criticizing world  
Where   
Everything we do  
Everything we are  
We get judged for  
You can’t have Gal friends  
Because then you’re Lesbian  
You can’t have Guy friends  
Because then you’re Gay  
You can’t have physical contact  
You can’t hug   
You can’t play around  
Because then you’re dating  
Life is stupid  
But then  
You might want someone  
But you can’t  
They’re off Limits.   
Once seen as beautiful  
You’re seen as disgrace  
You are Disgrace  
How dare you  
You Misplace yourself  
You’re Nothing more than powder  
Cause you are a coward  
Meaningless  
Hollow as the pit of your stomach  
Gray as the sunken skin around your eyes  
Invisible as the tears you cry during class  
You’re Nothing.   
So  
Just  
Give  
Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Depressing Right? I know. So yeah just don't take it to heart. You're Beautiful and Wonderful. Don't listen to people who put you down. Duck them and be yourself. ~u~


	7. Wall Of Gay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this one is about being gay. I'm not gay but most of my friends are pretty gay themselves so I wrote about their troubles and mine combined. It's sad I guess so yeah. Also, this is a bit of a longer one so yeah. Sorry about that.

There is a wall  
There is a wall between  
my house  
And my Neighbors  
We’re Christians  
They’re Catholics  
I see no problem  
But they see one  
Me  
Cause you see  
I like girls  
I like guys  
I have no main religion  
They find me wrong  
They find me as a joke  
Little Girl doesn’t talk to me anymore  
Little Boy doesn’t talk to me either  
Little Boy covers Little Girls ears  
‘She doesn’t need to know.  
Go away.’  
Away I walk  
Right back into the closet  
Sitting down  
In Shame of what I am  
Wishing I wasn’t me  
Pay no attention to them  
Says James  
Walking over  
Holding my hand gently  
Listen  
This is what they think of you  
They always will  
Little brother is perfect  
Like always  
But you are a mess up  
A big one at that  
Just do it  
I want to watch you die  
Says Julian  
Slice  
Drip  
Slice  
Drip  
Drip  
Clang  
“Maybe I will. I thought it would be later, rather than sooner”  
I say  
Falling  
Banging head  
Sounds  
Sounds of head on the metal  
More dripping  
Goes out faster  
Death?  
That’s an option?  
People say it’s not  
Would they be sad?  
They say they would  
Probably not  
Would they miss me?  
No  
“How do you know?”  
I just do  
Trust me  
If they don’t care now  
They won’t care then either  
“True…”  
I say as I fade away  
“No!!!  
What happened to you!  
What have you done!”  
Shouts all the voices in my head  
“Getting rid of you”  
I say  
Slipping away  
Fading  
Til they are  
Silent  
Finally  
Freedom  
In a way  
A way I have never know  
Throughout life  
You don’t get freedom  
Freedom must be earned  
Some  
Just want it  
More  
More than others  
I don’t understand  
What is making  
You do this  
It’s madness  
It’s life  
This is the end of your life  
You have regrets  
I have none  
But  
We did control you  
Controlled your  
Emotions  
Anger  
Sorrow  
Dispare  
I was  
A Wall  
A tall wall  
Towering over houses  
Actually  
I’m not the wall  
I  
Am the person  
The person standing  
Leaning over  
Looking through the clouds down  
Down to Earth  
Hoping  
Hoping someone  
Would bring me a latter  
A latter that would bring me back  
Back to the world, I knew best  
But  
I got  
Inpatient  
I didn’t wanna wait  
‘Cause  
Waitings too long  
Roses change  
But changing  
Is just another word for saying  
More  
Waiting  
Dripping  
White Roses  
Turn bright red  
Bright red  
Turns to blue and red lights  
Blue and red  
Turns to clean sheets  
Plain food  
Black  
Friendly room  
Back to  
Normal  
People now  
Stare  
But  
Who really cares  
I’m Gay!  
I raise my flag up high!  
I have won this battle  
I will win the next ones too  
Wanna know why  
Cause Gay  
Is perfectly  
Okay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember that being gay pan bi or any part of the LGBTQ+ realm it's perfectly ok. You are you. You are special so keep being you. Keep living that special gay life. ;) 
> 
> Edit: I also what to mention that the voices with names are from my friends Schizophrenia. Just thought I might wanna mention that is anyone was asking.


	8. What am I Now?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So for 2 days, I'm not going to be able to post. For me, it's the weekend so I'm going to post 2 today.

Where did you go?  
You were there  
I was born  
Then you were gone  
I never met you  
Never saw you  
Never will  
Now   
Look at me  
I’m abused  
I’m misused  
I’m like a doll on a shelf  
All prettied up  
Blushed Cheeks  
Or   
Is that embarrassment...  
Rose red lips  
Or  
Is that blood  
Who  
Can even tell anymore  
But no  
I don’t wanna be this  
I wanna be free  
I just wanna be me  
I can’t break these chains  
Their pulling me down  
Deep under ground   
To the depths  
Depths of a fiery pit   
But no  
I will resist  
I will resist these chains  
These chains that bind me  
To  
Being   
A   
Female  
To   
Being Stereotypical  
Cause I don’t wanna be Female  
Not any of this  
No  
Not anymore  
I wanna be me  
And me is  
Not Female  
Not Male  
Not Both  
But Nothing  
Nothing  
Cause  
I don’t want the bonds   
Of stereotype  
Of cliche  
I’m gay  
I say that’s okay  
But my Parents  
My “parents”  
To them  
That’s not okay  
But  
They don’t know  
I’m too scared to tell  
The closest has become my home  
Even though  
I feel safe nowhere  
I go to other places  
Not in real life  
No never  
But in my head  
I’m dreaming  
I dream   
And I dream  
Until I wake up  
But the REM  
REM won’t let me remember  
Maybe I shouldn’t dream  
Maybe I should just die  
Should just give my soul to God  
Give my soul to the Devil  
Nah  
I’m good  
None would accept me  
Cause I’m   
Unacceptable  
Cause I’m in the middle  
Being tied down  
Not being able to go anywhere  
Not being able to go see anyone  
I’m stuck again  
I feel like   
Repunzel  
With her tangled hair  
Silently strangling her with fear  
Parents  
Nah  
Just stuck in a tower  
But with no hair  
Which means no escape  
Hair cut   
Cut by the scissors of sorrow  
Feelings of pain  
Feelings of losing  
Feelings of Shame  
Of being me  
People laugh at me  
They never stop  
Taunting   
Never stops  
I cry  
But no one notices  
Not like they care  
People say  
‘Don’t judge a book by it’s cover’  
Well they’re damn right  
You don’t judge a book   
Not by it’s cover  
People say  
‘That’s just the tip of the iceberg”  
Damn right  
People are like Books and Icebergs  
You have to read a whole book  
And See the whole thing  
Just to judge it  
Judge my cover  
You get  
Happy  
Extervert  
Loud  
Tomboy  
Has no problems  
Go underneath my cover  
I’m a book  
A long book that isn’t finished  
When people laugh  
When they hit  
When they chase  
I hurt them  
Bang  
There’s a broken  
Bloody nose for you  
Crack  
There’s a twisted  
Broken hand for you  
Boom   
There’s a mental  
Head cracked for you  
Blood seeping into my soul from them  
Them and their wounds  
I gave them  
I hope they’re happy now  
Their driving me mad  
Insane  
Crazy  
Now here comes a new enemy  
Depression  
Physical Abuse  
Verbal Abuse  
Thick paddle  
Deathk  
You say stuff to me  
Slice  
Drip  
I do something wrong  
Slice   
Drip  
I drip onto my floor  
Stains  
Yelled at for them  
Slice  
Drip  
Hit and slapped  
Slice   
Drip   
I don’t listen  
Slice  
Drip  
I say the wrong thing  
Slice   
Drip  
My life is full  
Full of this and more  
Life is cruel  
But  
Rules are rules  
I guess...  
Some people  
Call themselves  
Normal  
What is normal?  
Is normal getting  
Everything  
You want?  
Is normal getting honour role  
Then  
I guess  
I’m not  
But what do I care  
I know people that care  
Honour role used to be   
Something  
I wanted  
Now  
It’s too hard to get to  
I can’t solve problems  
Like a Mathematician  
I can’t write   
Like a Journalist  
I can’t take observations   
Like a Scientist  
I’m not like them  
I never will be  
What am I then  
I’m just a child  
I’m just a Tween  
I’m just a Teen.   
I’m just a growing up adolescents  
I can’t control much  
No one can  
My parents try to tell me  
What I can’t and can do  
Nothing works  
I am trouble  
I am destruction  
I am what I am  
So  
Ask me  
What am I Now?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, I think this was a much longer one. Not sure but yeah.


	9. Coming and Going

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I wrote this one in my like 7th year. It's ok. I guess.

18 seems too young to die, doesn’t it?  
I think so,  
Well, Life comes and goes,  
When it walks out the door, it’s gone.  
Like sand in your hand,  
There’s only so much you can do to keep it before it flows away.  
You never think that your life will end so quickly,  
Until it happens and you regret everything you didn’t do,  
Everything you did do that was wrong,  
I didn’t even understand what life’s meaning was,  
Here I am on my deathbed still not knowing,  
If it means I get to die in peace then so be it.  
If by some miracle I live then so be it,  
In this world, I think there is a 60% and a 40% in this world on a Pie Chart,  
60% is the part of life that gets lucky,  
40%, like me, aren’t as lucky,  
My father died right in front of me when I was 3.  
I was scarred for life.  
I will never forget the ear piercing screams in the night.  
My brother wasn’t born yet,  
My sister was too young to remember.  
But for me,  
I remember everything.  
The blood,  
The cries,  
The trial,  
New homes,  
New places,  
New people,  
New punishments,  
New schools,  
No one to look up to.  
Just me, my sister and my brother, not even a 1-year-old.  
Nothing was ever the same.  
It was like an ever-changing cycle of chances  
And changes.  
Then it happened.  
She was only 5.  
She left this world too soon,  
Too young.  
Having no knowledge of a better world other than this,  
This pitiful life we live in.  
She was small anyway.  
It was bound to happen I guess,  
I guess.  
I wish it didn’t.  
She was so happy.  
Even when she was hit and bruised.  
She never cried fully just sobbed.  
She always found a happy place.  
I could only give her so much but she never frowned at it.  
...  
“Happy Birthday, Amelia. I got you a little something. Sorry, it’s only one thing.” I said sorrowfully. Amelia’s eyes lit up when she saw the doll. It was all I could get with the little pay from my job.  
“Thank you, Oniisan! I love it!” Amelia exclaimed jumping up and down squealing.  
“I’m glad you love it,” I say hugging her, “Maybe you, Asanuma and I can go get something to eat. A little something. If not I’ll find a way to sneak us out.” I wink at her while she falls into a pool of giggles.  
...  
As I got home,  
I let go of Asanuma.  
Let him run around.  
I opened the door,  
Slowly I walked inside,  
Just waiting for the yelling.  
That happens the moment I stepped in,  
Nothing.  
Not a word.  
Not a peep.  
Not even the sound of scattering rat feet.  
Just quiet.  
This was the first.  
A quiet time to do my homework,  
Get ready for my Job.  
My job.  
I check my watch.  
Darn.  
30 minutes.  
“Asanuma! Where are you?” I called out.  
“Right here, Oniisan!” He shouted run back to the door.  
I walked back in  
As I did,  
I shouted a reminder,  
“Watch out for the tree tru-”  
“AHHHHHH!!!!!!!! ONIISAN!!!!!!” Asanuma screamed.  
I heard before I ran out,  
I saw the bloody face,  
Teeth,  
The bloody rocks  
A bruising eye   
That was all I needed to see  
I scooped him up and ran  
There was a hospital in the next street over  
I can make it  
I’ve always been a good runner  
But could I make it this time? I thought  
“Hey, kid! Where are you going to? That someone doesn’t look good at all. Let me give you a ride.” said a voice.  
A car was pulling up beside me  
“Sorry, Ojisan. I can’t take a ride from you. I have to run it.” I yelled I dashing away on the pavement.  
“O-o-oniisan…,” whispered Asanuma  
Voice wavering,  
Breath shallow.  
“Hang in there little guy. Oniisan’s gonna help you. Don’t you worry. Just stay awake.” I say.  
I set him on a bench,  
Tearing off some of my shirt.  
“Here. I’m going to put this in your mouth to stop some bleeding.”  
He stuffed it gently into his small mouth,  
His bloody mouth.  
I picked him up again.  
I ran.  
I ran and ran.  
The doors of the Hospital.  
Right there,  
Right in front of my very eyes.  
Then the street light went green.  
I had to stop.  
There was no way I would make it.  
My poor brother,  
Suffering.  
All I could do was wait  
‘Hey.  
You.  
Yeah, you,  
I have an idea.  
It will save him,  
Keep you from guilt.  
Just run.  
Run all the way there,  
Go in between the cars  
It’s safe.’  
I listened,  
I pondered,  
This idea was bad,  
Very bad.  
We both could die.  
But,  
I was desperate,  
Really desperate.  
I did it.  
I risked my life.  
It was stupid,  
I know.  
But I did it anyway.  
As I dashed around.  
Cars honked,  
Cars stopped,  
Cars kept going,  
Then came a truck,  
A huge semi-truck,  
Barreling down the street.  
I was slowing down.  
I couldn’t go on,  
I had to though.  
Asanuma’s life was in my hands.  
I have to finish this,  
For him  
I was close  
Then  
In the very moment  
My foot slipped  
It was like the world itself,  
Suddenly slowed down.  
I fell forward,  
A child in arms,  
The truck coming towards me.  
I threw Asanuma forward.  
I fell,  
My head hit the ground.  
Hard,  
With a bang and a crack.  
The truck finally sped up.  
It hit me like a train,  
Knocking the wind right out of me,  
Ribs cracking,  
Bones breaking,  
Horn honking,  
After that ~~**Black**~~.  
…

         B e e p…

B e e p…

                B e e p…

“Oniisan?  
Wake up….Oniisan?”  
I can’t do it any longer  
Too much **pain**  
My lung feels _d_ ef _lated_  
I can’t ~~move~~  
I want to hug him  
Cradle him  
Tell him things will get better  
But,  
I can’t.  
I’m confined.  
Stuck  
I’m sorry Otouto...  
…  
Now I’m here  
Dying slowly.  
Painfully.  
Broken hearted.  
Asanuma’s lost so much  
He’s lost Amelia at a young age  
The age of 5  
Now,  
He’s losing me.  
His hope for a better life.  
Going away…  
I…  
I have failed him.  
I l o v e you brother

Stay s t r o n g

Stay h a p p y

Stay D e t e r m i n e d

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, it's pretty sad. I was a sad bean at that time. But if you didn't know Asanuma is a character that doesn't die. His tooth went up too far but the brother was out for so long that he was awake when Asanuma was better sorta.


	10. Where I am From

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a thing I wrote in my 8th year. I hope you like it.

I am from Pencils, from Pocky’s and Old Saturday Cartoons

I am from the Paddle Hitting Hard, from Musty Closet Hiding From Room Sittings and Watchings

I am from the Dying White Rose, Turning Red from the Blood

     Being Spilled around it Coating the Raw Spots where Thorns

      Thorns used to protect the flower from the harsh words people use to wound.

I am from Sandstone used for

                          climbing

        chipping,

                shaping,

Cause I’m not me anymore.

      For a matter a fact, I never was.

I am from Sunday Suppers filled with Meat and Saying our Graces, and We are all different.

     Different sights in the way we see the World.

          Father sees it as an opportunity for the world to grow and learn from its mistakes;

            Mother sees the world, hoping for a good day and the same the next every day repeating;

               Caleb sees the world as a competition for him to win and always be right;

                  Coral sees it as a cruel game that moves and shifts making it harder till you reach the end

      And it pushes you further not caring whether you fall,

      Not caring to pick you up, just sending people to do its filthy work.

      Together in this mixed Family, we are the Charles Family of only and forever 4. Til the end.

I am from the ashes from within the fighting trying my best to clean myself but making it worst.

      The best I can ever do is be silent;

      Skin being burned but still being silent.

Will I always have to fight?

Will I always have to be silent worrying the people around me?

I am from being told I will Never

      Never be able to write,

       Never be able to read,

        Never be able to spell

         Never passing into the next year.

I am from singing and Mr A.J on Sunday mornings

I am from Guatemala, Central America with a Past Unknown and a Future

                                            Going

                                 Down

                                                     The

                   Drain.

From Cinnamon Buns to the Peach Jam.

To the dressing up as a child to the Tupperware containers and Poems

I am from a no man's land.

I am from hospitals and therapy’s telling me I’ll never be normal

I am from the new small house where trees used to be.

       Where the vitamins for my poor health stand and the sleeping pills that do nothing but keep me awake.

But

      I 

        am

              Me

Am                     

      I                   

         Not?           

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I also for this one am trying a different style of writing. I hope you liked it.


	11. Back Then (Pre)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So This one is not finished but I just wanted to post it. I think it's a good one so yeah.

Adults  
You wish  
Long  
To be that back then  
Now that you’re older  
Life is harder  
Life’s not fair anymore  
You have to work for it.   
Get loads of papers  
From Teachers you hate  
And who hate you back.   
Life just torments you.  
You can’t just move along with it.  
Cause it hurts doesn’t it  
It hurt back then  
When you could cry   
Someone would care back then.  
Someone would cradle you  
Cradle you in the loving arms they have  
But  
That was back then.   
Now.   
Get a f**king grip, B**ch  
*smack*  
That hurts too doesn’t it   
You would cry again.   
If only it didn’t mean you would get hit again  
Scared yet?  
We were.   
We were terrified.  
Nowhere safe  
People are cruel.   
They leave children on the streets  
They leave them to die  
Send them to the Slaughter houses  
Orphanages are dangerous

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This even sounds so unfinished. Well, rip. Hope you liked it.


	12. Mother

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one has some language. Sorry about that.

Mother  
You’re a bitch  
You’re a bitch to the highest level  
I know  
People say  
You should be nice to your mother  
You should love your mother  
But  
How can I love someone as mean  
As you.  
You are a pain  
Like when I woke up with a swollen foot  
You made me walk all day on it  
It hurt  
You didn’t care  
You just didn’t wanna go to jail  
Cause if i skipped  
They would know.  
If Caleb skipped  
You wouldn’t care  
You would treat him kindly  
Treat him like a fucking King  
He's an Arseholed  
Retarded  
Pissing-me-off  
Boy  
But you don’t know I feel that way  
Cause Mother  
You could Careless  
You would happily give him the world  
And you  
Would give me  
The world's troubles  
Cause that’s all I am to you  
A trouble  
Why would you adopt me  
Just so you can vent  
Just so you and father can vent to someone  
If you had known  
I would be this much trouble  
Would you have adopted me  
Would you have helped me  
Taken me  
From my real family


	13. What am I Now? (REVISED)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Revised

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a bit of a different side. I had to do a poetry slam and so I had to shorten my story cause it was too long to memorize and it also was just too long in general.

Where did you go?  
You were there  
I was born  
Then you were gone  
I never met you  
Never saw you  
Never will  
Now  
Look at me  
I’m abused  
I’m misused  
I’m like a doll on a shelf  
All prettied up  
Blushed Cheeks  
Or  
Is that embarrassment  
Rose red lips  
Or  
Is that blood  
Who  
Can even tell anymore  
...  
I wanna be free  
I just wanna be me  
I can’t break these chains  
Their pulling me down  
Deep under ground  
To the depths  
Depths of a fiery pit  
But no  
I will resist  
I will resist these chains  
These chains that bind me  
To  
Being  
A  
Female  
I don’t want the bonds  
Of cliche  
I’m gay  
I say that’s okay  
But my Parents  
My “parents”  
To them  
That’s not okay  
...  
I go to other places  
Not knowing  
Where my dreams will take me  
So  
In my head  
I’m dreaming  
Until I wake up  
But the REM  
REM won’t let me remember  
Maybe I shouldn’t dream  
Maybe I should just die  
Should just give my soul to God  
Give my soul to the devil  
Nah  
I’m good  
...  
I’m stuck again  
I feel like  
Repunzel  
With her tangled hair  
Silently strangling her with fear  
Parents  
Nope  
Just stuck in a tower  
But with no hair  
Which means no escape  
Haircut  
Cut by the scissors of sorrow  
Feelings of pain  
Feelings of losing  
Feelings of Shame  
Of being me  
...  
People laugh at me  
They never stop  
Taunting  
I cry  
But no one notices  
Not like they care  
People say  
‘Don’t judge a book by it’s cover’  
Well they’re damn right  
You don’t judge a book  
Not by it’s cover  
People say  
‘That’s just the tip of the iceberg”  
Again Damn right  
People are like Books and Icebergs  
You have to read a whole book  
Just to judge it  
Judge my cover  
I dare you  
Look at me with all content  
Go underneath my cover  
I’m a book  
A long book that isn’t finished  
…  
People  
I hope they’re happy now  
Their driving me mad  
Insane  
Crazy  
Now here comes a new enemy  
Depression  
Physical Abuse  
Verbal Abuse  
...  
My life is full  
Full of this and more  
Life is cruel  
But  
Rules are rules  
I guess  
Some people  
Call themselves  
Normal  
What is normal?  
Is normal getting everything you want?  
Is normal getting honour role  
Then  
I guess I’m not  
But what do I care  
I can’t solve problems Like a Mathematician  
I can’t write Like a Journalist  
I can’t take observations Like a Scientist  
…  
I know  
That I’m  
Not perfect  
But You can suck it up  
And fucking deal with it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Yeah. Hope you like it also I have pretty short hair. My mother had me cut it so yeah. A bit of background for you. Have a wonderful time.


	14. Being 15 and Barely Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This was a poem I wrote a little while ago. It's decent. I have thought about entering a poem contest, so if anyone is reading this, feel free comment on which one would be cool to enter.

I am Fifteen  
I’ve already seen too many people leave  
My friends have already left  
They may say they’ll stay  
But never do  
They leave the earth or our town  
What if I leave them all?

My parents treat me like they think they should  
Paddles not just for canoeing  
Bruises not just from sports  
Adults not just for parents?  
Kids not just to leave?  
What if I leave them all?

People study to leave  
Or they stay  
Some are running from their problems  
Some are chasing them  
But will they all leave me?  
What if I leave them all?

Years  
Trimesters  
Semesters  
Months  
Weeks  
Days  
Hours  
Minutes  
Seconds  
What if I leave them all?

Books wear out  
Clothes break down  
Jewellery lost  
Love is replaced  
But  
What if I leave them all?

Are we all being played with?  
Are we just a game for the  
Celestial beings to play around with  
Manoeuvring us by the strings that hold us  
The strings have meaning  
Family  
Friends  
Our animals  
Sometimes none of those  
You could leave them all  
What if I leave them all?

What if our police officers do nothing for victims  
Will they ever get peace?  
What if they've done everything to forget  
Will they have to remember for the sake of no one?  
What if I have to remember my darkest days  
Will they take me seriously  
What if I leave them all?

Are we all so trifle.  
We feel as though there is nothing to be  
Achieved  
When we look outside  
War  
Political destruction  
And then things  
Much more minuscule.  
Wars at home  
Family destructions  
Why chase your dreams  
When they only leave?  
What if I leave them all?

Can I leave you all?  
Is that even possible  
I cry myself to sleep  
Just hoping someone will care  
But no one does  
When I hurt  
They think it's for  
Attention  
So I'll just Hide  
What if I leave them all?


	15. People, People

People,  
   People  
Will any of them miss me?  
People,  
   People  
Will He ever kiss me?  
People,  
   People  
Would they say Au revoir?  
People,  
   People  
They make me Sad  
People,  
   People  
I wish I were dead  
People,  
   People  
Did I do good deeds?  
People,  
   People  
Did they ever need me?  
People,  
   People  
I only make them sad  
People,  
   People  
I rarely make them glad  
People,  
   People  
Make fake promises  
People,  
   People  
Run their mouths  
People,  
   People  
Am I really just a t r i f l e?  
People,  
   People  
Remember me; never  
People,  
   People  
All they do is endeavour  
People,  
   People  
Does He know I love him?  
People,  
   People  
I never could hate him  
People,  
   People  
Don’t they know I try my best?  
People,  
   People  
But I seem to fail  
Every  
Test  
People,  
   People  
Can’t they try to be kind?  
People,  
   People  
Won’t the voices get out of my mind?  
People,  
   People  
I am the last of my Kin  
People,  
   People  
I cause a great many sins  
People,  
   People  
Oh how they are cruel  
People,  
People  
I am c u t from another branch  
People,  
   People  
Everything is white like ranch  
People,  
   People  
So many colours  
People,  
   People  
Does it have to be Pink and Blue  
People,  
   People  
Ignore the truth  
People,  
   People  
Ignore feelings  
People,  
   People  
Why are they all so blind  
People,  
   People  
Why can’t they accept  
People,  
   People  
I just wanna die  
People,  
   People  
Why is there not help  
People,  
   People  
Make yourself better  
People,  
   People  
Make the Planet better  
People,  
   People  
Destroy as you go  
People,  
   People  
Destroy lives  
People  
   People  
I am so done with people  
People,  
   People  
Everything’s fine  
 Really.  
        Really..  
           Really…  
                 Really…?  
People,  
   People  
Hate them all  
People,  
   People  
I am saying goodbye  
To A L L of them

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wrote this a little while ago. I know no one ever reads my works but i might as well make myself feel better and post stuff. :D ;-;


End file.
